Have you ever had someone criticize you and put you down? Did you think about it for hours afterwards? I’m sure you have. Has that criticism come from someone you love? Maybe the person you’re dating? I know, I know… I’m getting too real here. But hear me out.
If the person that put you down is someone you’re dating, and this person does this consistently, you may want to rethink your relationship. If you’re thinking about marrying this person, you may want to do some soul searching.
Do you really want to deal with someone day in and day out that breaks your spirit? One that knows he hurt you, and yet continues to do so? If the answer is yes, please ask yourself why. A man (or woman) who puts you down in a way that breaks your spirit is not a man (or woman) worth marrying. Marry a man who criticizes you in a way that lifts you up. Let me explain. You see, I have a bad habit of doubting myself. Hubby knows this.
Yesterday, I was having a self-doubting moment, and confiding in Hubby that I was afraid someone would be offended by my blog posts. He finally stopped me and said “either say what you’re gonna say and own it […] cause there’s always gonna be somebody that disagrees […] or don’t do the blog. I personally think you’d benefit from just saying it and owning it and being proud of yourself [for] saying your words!” Wise words, I must say.
Hubby criticized my constant self-doubt (while simultaneously lifting me up) by saying I should own it and be proud of myself. Now, when I have to criticize someone, I either criticize so harshly that it hurts, or, I sugar coat it so much that the person doesn’t even realize I’m criticizing them. Hubby showed me there is a way to criticize someone and encourage them at the same time. One of the many reasons I love him, ya’ll!
Marriage is a big deal, guys. It’s a commitment not only to your spouse but also to God. It’s not something to take lightly. If the person you are dating is putting you down and making you feel miserable, a ring isn’t going to change that. So, does your partner criticize you to the point that it breaks your spirit? Or do they lift you up and encourage you in your dreams? You need to understand where you stand with your partner, but even more importantly, you need to know if your partner stands with you.