Picture it: Sicily, 1912…
Any other Golden Girls fans here? No? Okay… Let me try that again.
Picture it: You’re riding down the road in your sports car, windows down, not a care in the world. You think to yourself, “wow, life is really great right now.”
But then you see a handsome man on the side of the road. He has a luggage bag next to him. You’re thinking, eh, might as well stop and see if he’s okay.
Once you stop, you realize this is the man of your dreams. You immediately offer to take him where he needs to go.
The man asks if it’s okay if he brings his luggage with him. You immediately oblige. What could it hurt? It was then, when you got a closer look, that you realized that the suitcase wasn’t actually baggage. In fact, it was a little girl – your dream guy’s daughter. You’re obviously shocked and begin to wonder if you should allow your dream guy to come with you or not.
Are you at a crossroads right now, wondering if it’s safe to continue on, knowing about this dream guy’s “baggage”?
Have you met a wonderful guy, but you’re a bit hesitant to commit because of the fact that he is a father?
Here’s what you need to know:
1. This child will be his #1 priority. Not you. Deal with it.
If he is a good father, his child will come first. There will be days where you’ve made plans for a wonderful night out – but his child gets sick and he has to cancel. There will be times when you want alone time, but it gets interrupted because his child needs him. Just know, this man has his priorities in order and he is a wonderful father. If you’re in this for the long haul, you’ll learn to appreciate that about him.
2. This child may not like you, and you may not like them.
I was lucky. Despite our bickering, my step-daughter loves me, and I love her. But I know there are some situations where that is far from the case.
3. The bio mom may still be an active part of her child’s life.
This may or may not be a good thing, depending on your dream guy’s relationship with bio mom and bio mom’s relationship with the child.
4. You and bio mom may not get along. Like, ever.
5. Each step family dynamic is different and unique.
Some blended families get along great. Others struggle. Some stepmom’s end up being best friends with the bio mom. Others can’t stand to be in the same room.
6. Depending on the custody agreement, you and your new man may not get much alone time. Or you may get a lot.
7. Your life will never be the same.
Regardless of whether your experience with stepmotherhood is good or bad, this family you’ve wandered into will leave an impression on your heart for years to come.
8. The saying “the days are long but the years are short” will have new meaning for you.
9. You will cry and doubt yourself too many times to count.
Step mom life is hard sometimes. You try to be the best step parent you can be, but inevitably, there will be times when the doubt creeps in.
10. This road is long. It is filled with blind curves and potholes. You may feel like you’re running out of gas (This is why self-care is so important! Read my post about self-care here). You may feel like you’re doing it all wrong. Like things are of order. That’s okay. Because when you look in the rearview mirror and see her sitting in her carseat, smiling back at you, you know it’ll all be worth it to have a place in that beautiful child’s life.